More tranny stories later!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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