I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT