He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize