i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize