Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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