why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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