If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did I show you my penis last night?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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