i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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