I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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