Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
