I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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