I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
