dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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