PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
