Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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