i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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