He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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