all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
