So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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