just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's like a pop up book from hell.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
