When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
