At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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