just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
