why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
