I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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