I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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