Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
