If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
