finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
