She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
