he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
