I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
