Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
