So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
