I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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