Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
