I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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