What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
