O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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