I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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