Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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  (504): Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes http://tfl.nu/awap
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  thats a woman

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  (709): she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her. (709): thats a woman http://tfl.nu/e6ls
  Replies (10) Good night (1163) Bad night (1757)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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  (402): Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/fedc
  Replies (23) Good night (5918) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

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  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3705) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.

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  (209): she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer. http://tfl.nu/2qfw
  Replies (8) Good night (703) Bad night (4294) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

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  (314): You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important. http://tfl.nu/ehih
  Replies (18) Good night (2353) Bad night (2579) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

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  (314): You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard http://tfl.nu/m8tv
  Replies (4) Good night (2195) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?

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  (281): Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner? http://tfl.nu/iojv
  Replies (18) Good night (749) Bad night (3575) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.

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  (612): The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt. http://tfl.nu/1yd4
  Replies (4) Good night (2980) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?

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  (303): How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head? http://tfl.nu/wek5
  Replies (5) Good night (1806) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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  (805): Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gnxv
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.

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  (360): I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day. http://tfl.nu/9n5p
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (231) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You need a sexual gate keeper

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  (317): You need a sexual gate keeper http://tfl.nu/r2za
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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