i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
