I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.