Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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  (954): The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/yi61
  Replies (21) Good night (4436) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.

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  (815): I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe. http://tfl.nu/z3x3
  Replies (43) Good night (8127) Bad night (2122)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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  (716): sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner http://tfl.nu/i2lb
  Replies (10) Good night (1201) Bad night (3984)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1326) Bad night (2933)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.

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  (562): bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kow3
  Replies (10) Good night (2742) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (4355) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country

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  (210): Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country http://tfl.nu/te1e
  Replies (9) Good night (4456) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face

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  (662): It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face http://tfl.nu/qofd
  Replies (9) Good night (2162) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2294) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording

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  (802): i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording http://tfl.nu/qw8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1974) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.

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  (573): i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man. http://tfl.nu/t42g
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

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  (805): Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later? http://tfl.nu/nvl3
  Replies (7) Good night (1420) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..

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  (828): btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits.. http://tfl.nu/2wvn
  Replies (10) Good night (450) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (441) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

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  (+61): im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter http://tfl.nu/2kon
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (254)

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