Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant

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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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(561): View more from Florida

My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(954): View more from Florida

tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

(1-954): View more from Florida

Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

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(03): View more from

you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.

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(702): View more from Nevada

the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless

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