now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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