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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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