so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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