my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
