i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
