Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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