evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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