ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
