and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
