please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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