At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
