I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
