There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
