At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
