i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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