i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
