im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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