I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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