So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
