Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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