I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
