The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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